And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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