We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize