you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
There r osticjed everywhere
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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