problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
