Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
