You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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