Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Such a big mess for such a small penis
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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