The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He has the fingertips of a God
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