is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
worst night to have a conscience
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
