It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
