Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
