My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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