we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize