get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
