She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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