I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
