If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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