Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
