The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
