Cold hands, warm shart.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Randomize
