I want you more than these girls want KFC
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
