I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
