The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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