based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
