So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
