the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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