Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
