need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I want to fling myself into the sun
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
