Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
