Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
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