oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
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