Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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