I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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