Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
