Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
