All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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