she looked like the bat from fern gully.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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