Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
