I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
