oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
