Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
