Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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