come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Are we still banned from the library?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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