Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
