I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
