I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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