hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
