just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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