And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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