ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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