So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
