can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
birth control should be required to get into college
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
