For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
