I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
