hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
