I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
