His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize