dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Acid is not a monday night drug
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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